Liberals Fear Snow!

"It's true. I'm absolutely fearless except for this one small thing," said Lindsey Bowden quietly, "I can prove it. I've never voted a split ticket in my life. I had a Nader bumper sticker before anyone else. I was donating to Oxfam before it became trendy. I tried Australian wines when no one else would. I bought my first Pottery Barn vase in 1991. I've marched in pro-abortion rallies. I've never even thought of supporting a Republican."

But the "this one small thing" that the 42-year-old social worker from Middleton, WI, fears has come upon her as it does every year at this time - driving on snowy roads.

"I just cringe when it gets to be November. I just curl into a ball when the weather report comes up with snow," she added, "I just know that I'm just going to be terrified in the morning. I have to extend my yoga routine for an hour just to be able to sleep."

However, like the thousands of other liberals who feel and behave as she does, the white, divorced mother of one child gets into her Subaru with its obligatory Obama-Biden, I Brake for Animals and Darwin bumper stickers on these winter mornings.

Then, like the thousands of other liberals who feel and behave as she does, she puts on her seatbelts, locks the doors, puts her free-trade-organic-beans-ground-that-morning coffee in the cupholder, turns on National Public Radio and makes sure there aren't any squirrels in the driveway behind her.

Lindsey then joins the thousands of other liberals who feel and behave as she does in their Subarus with their own set of obligatory declarations of liberal fealty on the highway.

There, like the thousands of other liberals who feel and behave as she does, she drives at what she calls a "safe and sane 37 miles per hour," regardless of weather conditions. Or traffic. Or posted speed limits. Or common sense.

"It's hard," she admits, "I know I'm not doing the popular thing. All of those SUVs with the 'W' stickers zoom by me, shaking their fists or giving me the finger. I can see their mouths moving and I know they're saying all sorts of unkind things. It hurts but, deep down, I know I'm doing the right thing."